The Village of Truth

I am the Chieftain of my own tribe
I speak my truths
with the many voices
residing in my village -
But you may never understand my truths
You may not even hear them
or even recognize the voice with which I speak them
for your village may be far away from mine
and all you may see are lips moving
and all you may hear are the distant echoes…

We all sing different songs,
dance different steps,
and drum different beats
at our council ring fires….
But we must accept and respect
each other’s truths

the need that they be our own

and no one else’s

Mother of Invention, looking to my Truths, singing, dancing and drumming from my village.

A Short Pearl of Wisdom!

For some people I know and maybe some I don’t, who are embarking by choice or destiny, on some new part of their journey:

In order to move on to the next great thing in life, you have to be able to leave the last great thing behind.

And one thing that I always remember my father telling us: "You never walk by an open door twice."

Bonus Lessons!

I went to my 2nd cardio rehab class today and it was a bit more challenging. The whole program offers an additional interesting study in social and group dynamics - men and women of all ages, shapes, and sizes all working towards a common goal. As we all get to know each other gradually, people start to show care and concern about each other in a progressive way.

First, they share heart experiences, then about how they are feeling and the progress during class, and finally as individuals with unique personalities and families - just plain old sharing life here together. You become endeared to the older men and ladies especially. They are all so sweet and you begin to think you really want to get to know them for what they can bring to you and you to them.

Maybe that is part of a larger lesson I'm to learn besides the obvious health knowledge. End of my philosophy thought for the day!!

Mother of Invention, getting back to the treadmill of life!

Cardio Girl!

Went to my 1st cardio rehab today and it was kinda weird. Nobody from my hospital room! Not many women and only 1 near my age and she was really obese. The rest were really old and most of the men were overweight. A few were my age and already back at work. I felt like I didn't belong, but sadly, I do! Just hit me in a very strange way.

My legs were sore from the stress test yesterday (it was good - didn't sweat as much or get as winded as the last one) and got sore today while doing just 7 min. on the bike...it's a lot harder than walking! Fibromyalgia still does its number on me! I only do a bit on the treadmill because my toe joint gets sore. I took myself out for a decaf at Groundswell after! Then, I had a badly needed massage this aft.!!

I'll have to build up on the bike and try to swim too when I can. There is supposed to be a program called The Wave for people with arthritis at the Nottawasaga which might be gentler for me. I should phone about it.

Have fasting cholesterol and sugar tests tomorrow a.m. Going to see if they'll fax them to Dr. Hess, the cardio guy I'm seeing Mon. at Newmarket. They're faxing my stress test so they don't duplicate it. Then I'm going to check the library and used book store for Heart Smart cookbooks.

Actually went to a staff meeting yesterday just to "Feel the Frenzy"! And be glad I'm on a break from that. One little Gr. 1 kid I taught saw me came running up, hugged me and said, "Oh, there you are. Where have you been? Everyone still thinks you're off with a broken leg!" Took me awhile to connect but those gr. 1's were fascinated with the cast I had to wear for 2 months in the fall..and we all know they NEVER forget anything! HA!

Not sleeping out in our summer bedroom tonight! Too cold!


All for now!

Mother of Invention, getting to THE HEART of the matter!

Disasters of Spring!

Spring develops rapidly at this time of year and I must go out to survey my property daily so that I may see and appreciate every evolutionary step in this delightful process.

The lilac leaves have just burst forth and it won’t be long until they will reach full foliage. Soon after, I can feast my eyes (and my nose!) on the beautiful purple flowers so faithful to their glorious reputation! They shall always be welcomed as the first flowering bush of spring in my backyard! (Oops! I lied! I forgot that we planted a small forsythia way down by the river in our backyard! Much to my surprise, it came out magically all at once a day ago. I had forgotten that we had added that! Kind of like those new summer tops I bought last year on sale and I'm delighted to discover them on my first trip up to the attic to bring out the new season's clothes!)

Upon one of my visitations last week, I knew something wasn’t quite right when I couldn’t locate my young pussy willow plant. I have always wanted one of these unique bushes with their silky cylinders of fluff every kid, (except me!) has brought to the teacher! Finally, last year, I was fortunate enough to have a friend root some for me. I carefully planted them in a spot where I was sure to see and enjoy them. But alas, I fear disaster has struck, for it is absolutely nowhere to be seen!

I am dismayed as I reflect and come up with the most plausible explanation there could be. The young boy, who runs wildly all over our yard with the lawn mower, (for which we pay him good money) has obviously cut it down on the last day of "work" last fall! He has no clue or remorse that he delivered this devastating disaster to this innocent young plant!

Hmmm! New pussy willow vs. new lawn cutter? What a decision that’ll be!

Mother of Invention, still lamenting the fact that she doesn’t have a pussy willow to give the teacher!

Kiddo,You Make Me Smile!

Some days you just have to smile at the peculiar things kids say to you. Of course, some comments stand out more than others. On one day, when a particular boy who is often in detention, was having more troubled times, he spent his entire precious time at recess walking the yard with me.

Well, I was a captive audience, except for my constant scanning of the field to catch any problems. It seems I always pick up the kids that need the extra TLC and a keen ear for listening. They hone in on me like a Geiger counter.It amazed me that with only talking for 15 minutes, such a strong bond was formed. We exchanged numerous tales about our cats, stories about his dogs, bunkbeds, colours of rooms, tv shows, favourite snacks....a lot of ground covered besides the ground we covered walking the yard.

First thing the next morning, he came right to me, said Good Morning, and asked me how I slept! Never had that question! But, of course, I answered it.
Since then, he comes up to me several times a day to ask if I'm coming to his class. He desperately wants to hold doors for me and help me carry all my stuff. In the middle of a class he put up his hand and I thought it was so great he was paying attention and going to answer my question. He said, "You sure are wearing a lot of wood today!" I had on a carved wooden bracelet, earrings and necklace!

But the best comment was today! I had two problems on the yard for which I had to write up "yellow behaviour sheets" for a few boys to pass on to the office.
As I was walking up the stairs, explaining to the boys' teachers that I didn't have the time to do the paper work until noon, this boy, who is notoriously familiar with this detention process offered, "I could help you with those sheets.""I'm sure you'd just love that!" I said to myself.Still smiling, I responded, "Thanks, but I've got this one covered!"

Mother of Invention, still chuckling a little at the innocent irony!

Haunted By Horton's!

The Unrolled Rim!

I am obsessed by this! I can’t stop thinking about it! I am in the re-training process of Roll up the Rim to Win and sadly, I have forgotten to play the game once already. (And everyone knows you can’t win if you don’t play!)

The image of that empty cup with its rim still intact, sitting at the top of that small wastebasket in the hallway at school is indelibly etched in my mind. Unthinkingly, amidst the excitement of the last day before March Break, I tossed a winner - and you’ll never convince me otherwise. In my mind, it is the car for certain, well okay, maybe a bike. No lousy biscuit to be sure!

Let’s face it – usually your efforts rolling up the rim (inevitably by your teeth) are rewarded with that annoying, "Re-essayer S.V.P." for which the English translation is (and I’ve even got my Gr. 13 French!) "You Are A Loser!" This is not a good way to start your day and does nada for your self-esteem!

I will no doubt have to succumb to the irresistible urge to peer into that same wastebasket as I pass it in the hallway on the way into my room on Monday.
And by the way, if you see our custodian driving a fabulous brand new car into our parking lot, you’ll know she unrolled the Grande "Gagner L’auto Magnifique!" on MY cup!


Mother of Invention, still getting nauseous every time I think about it!!!

Grocery Stores Beware!

As a young child, I always thought it was a special treat to go out on errands with my father. In retrospect, I guess it was because such trips inevitably resulted in some unexpected exciting events and he would share with us his enthusiasm about any happenings that might occur on these brief outings. Shopping for groceries was without a doubt, one of the most memorable of such occasions.


My mother usually initiated these shopping expeditions. Father was to execute her orders right to the letter and without deviation. More often than not, we would be sent specifically for a few simple items for supper, an easy task to follow for most people. However, it was a challenge my father found impossible to conquer!


He made his first mistake by taking a buggy from the front. Hardly necessary for a few groceries you think? My mother thought so too! We’d scarcely get down the first aisle and the cart would already be half-full. Father was easily sidetracked, reading the labels of new products, deciding that, on behalf of consumers everywhere, it was his duty to test them all.


Of course, I always managed to sneak in many of what I considered absolute essentials: sugar-frosted cereal, packages of jujubes, licorice, chips, cheesies, pop, coloured marshmallows, and ice cream cones. (My list varied according to the children’s prime time television ads that week!)


As we’d approach the vegetable stands, my sister and I would shrink back in horrified anticipation of what was sure to happen next. The usual routine would fall quickly into place. Our father would spend about sixty seconds handling the potatoes, beans and carrots, examining them for the slightest of defects.


Upon his disapproval, which was always the case, there would be a five second interval – four, three, two, one, and then he’d start to grumble loudly to himself, only to be heard by all the other shoppers throughout the entire store, "This is terrible! Worst produce I’ve ever seen! How is this possible? Where the hell are they getting them? Where’s the manager? I’ve got to speak to the manager!"


By this time, as you can well imagine, it certainly was not necessary to page the manager! The poor man and all his assistants were already filing out at full speed through the double saloon-type swinging doors from the back room with a look of, "Not again?!" on their worried faces. This was our cue to grab the cart and zip down to the aisle furthest from the grade "D" vegetables where we could hide our embarrassment. Unfortunately, we could still hear echoes of my father’s booming voice!


About ten minutes remained left to "shop", as the heated argument would generally last that long. We had heard it all so often that the pattern was predictable. It was at this time that my sister and I chose to casually saunter up and down the aisles and pretend to be out shopping by ourselves. This scene occurred with such regularity that I daresay most people actually thought we were!


After we had exhausted the whole store, we continued to play out our dramatic roles as weekly shoppers and directed the cart towards the front checkout. This location just happened to be where the bubblegum machines were situated. My sister can sadly attest to the fact that I was indeed the neighbourhood’s worst gum machine addict!


This particular outing was no different than any other week. A familiar gleam came into my eyes and my adrenaline was pumping as I hastened towards those alluring coin-swallowers! My sister recognized the entranced look with a groan. The display of attractive, brightly coloured gumballs and prizes peering through the glass was now within reach!


I announced, quite needlessly, my intention to sink some serious change. Little did I know that I was on the threshold of the luckiest streak of my life! After inserting my first penny, I turned the knob and the customary gum and prize tumbled down the shoot into eager hands. For some unknown reason, I turned the knob again, only to be rewarded with another gumball and prize!


Upon repeating this procedure several times with the same delightful outcome, I concluded that, what we had here was a faulty gum machine. Absolutely no guilt was felt at taking full advantage of my amazing discovery. My eyes were downright bulging and beaming in disbelief with each new glorious load.
Yes, I was in a feverish frenzy as my pockets automatically filled themselves with the free loot!


According to schedule, my father, with a smug and self-satisfied look on his face, came roaring down the aisle still exclaiming that they had not seen the last of him. Somehow I’m sure the employees had figured this out for themselves, as some still huddled nervously over the vegetable stand, trying to rearrange the disturbed display of produce!


Others were staring at the business cards father had angrily thrust into their hands and they looked genuinely worried as they read, "Inspection Branch, Ontario Department of Agriculture". (Only we knew that this card was obsolete, because he hadn’t been with the branch for at least five years!)


As dad approached the front windows at the cashiers, I’m certain he was delighted to see his youngest daughter hastily cashing in on a faulty gum machine. He boldly grabbed a small brown paper bag from the checkout counter and handed it to me, claiming in his loud voice, "There’s not much left, you might as well empty the thing!" My hands never moved so fast!

We made our grand exit with the all too familiar send-off from the store’s employees – the manager, cursing angrily under his breath, the cashier, eyeing us icily in disgust, and the packing boy, staring openly, his jaw to the floor. Father proudly led the procession out the door, followed by one dazed daughter, deeply engrossed in the mysterious contents of her goody bag. A few paces behind was the other woeful daughter, head bent, self-conscious in her struggle to maneuver the awkward cart out of that store as smoothly and inconspicuously as possible.

And, as always, we had neglected to purchase the few items my mother had requested for making dinner!

Mother of Invention, still feeling the rush I got from filling that bag!

Recent Report!

The Beaches is such a cool area of Toronto! A very trendy, safe neighbourhood type feeling with neat little shops, produce markets and cafes. I walked 2 miles to the lake and back, which was uphill...I was so tired!

My husband skied cross-country on Sat. but the snow is now finally diminishing! Then we went to a Millpond concert and saw Ken Whitely who is fabulous.

I've been walking 1 mile a day for 9 days now so that's okay for now. My next stress test is on the 18th so hopefully it will be just as good or better than the 1st one. I raked leaves yesterday too. My muscles are incredibly sore and I can't take Tylenol because of the liver, and no advil because of the heart! Yikes! Suck up the pain, girl, but I'm not good at that!
Having a massage today and also getting my hair highlighted and trimmed. Kinda like spa day! Getting our house cleaned today too so I better go tidy it....my sucky cat, Socks, is sleeping on the bed so I might just have to leave that!! She just sits there and watches Tamie vacuum because she knows her well...she always goes into the office where Tamie gives her part of her tuna sandwich so I guess she thinks she might score some more! Ha!


Mother of Invention

HEART SPACE

always room in the heart for one more

to carve the space especially reserved for them

"sure, move over," the others say"

unique, this one,

unusual shaped

but they shift themselves

to allow a customized fit

for the newcomer

who enters wondering,

"why so vast?

where do I go?"

ushered to the space that's been there awhile waiting

expansion

contraction

elasticity -

some friends require that

depends on what you're bringing

and expecting

sometimes voices echo across the emptiness of dormancy

(a little too roomy for me)

everything needs to be nurtured -

the growing part's easy...

Mother of Invention

copyright

Gratitude!

As we are all Divine Children of God, we are worthy of having our Angels of Light gather round us during dark and difficult times, in a spirit of love, guidance, protection and healing. I have done a great deal of gathering these past five months!


I let the light of others shine for me when I am weak as I do for them when I am strong. It is in this that I affirm my faith in the spiritually kind attitude of people.
While I was trying to deal with my illness in a positive way, I focused on Gratitude, for surely it lies on the other side of hope. As I wrote down a daily list of some things for which I was grateful, I was stunned to realize how incredibly blessed I am! I do indeed, have some serious Guardian Angels!


I have continued to make a good recovery and look forward to giving my Cardio Rehab Program my best effort!
I believe that expressing Gratitude is an important part of the "People Process" in life, as is the sharing of Blessings.
Thanks to you and your Congregation for including me on your Prayer List, and to my friends, Carolyn Blackwood and Margaret Enever for thinking of me.
And a special thanks to Elly, who instinctively knows how to nurture a true and caring friendship!

To all of you in the "Knox Community",

Shine On!

Gratefully,
Mother of Invention

A Poet Laureate's View

I remember this interview with USA’s Poet Laureate, Billy Collins shortly after 9/11 and was so captivated by his statements that I scrambled for a pencil and paper to mark some of it down. He even phrased his answers so beautifully; it was no wonder to me that they had selected this sensitive man to the post. His thoughts provoked me to reflect on my relationship with written words.
I have summarized the views and descriptions that I loved the best.

Poetry is first of all, prose avoidance. A single line is a unit in poetry; we always go back to the margin before we give another line life.
Poetry is the history and education of our heart. It gives form and reason to life. This special form of writing expresses gratitude for the moment for the sheer fact of its existence, and we have to "mine the moment". It is observing what is going on around us in careful ways, but it is also an expressive outlet for your inner life.
I could relate to all of this so well, as anyone who has really taken time to read my poetry would recognize. It is certainly a way to put form to the strong feelings that dwell within my heart.

And if one has "committed their first act of poetry" at an early age, as I have, then it indeed serves as your heart’s history. We all have special Kodak moments that we keep indelibly etched in our minds and for me, each one is undoubtedly the stimulus for many poems.


When Billy was interviewed, shortly after 9/11, he was asked whether he thought that moment should be immortalized by poetry. His response was quite interesting. He felt that there was no need to describe it in verse or prose. We had seen the graphic image of the Twin Towers so often that it was an ocular burn on our retina for life. I couldn’t agree more. ut Billy also felt that it was needed at times like that to give a sense of the three C’s: "To Cope, Conquer, and Carry On." Poetry in his opinion, is the "social glue that holds us together".
I love the way he worded this idea.

And to conclude, Billy Collins said, "poetry speaks best when it’s personal but also when it speaks for the collective". This all makes so much sense to me. Poetry, written by one single person, whatever the stimulus for writing it, then becomes universal, uniting us all.

We can all be "Poet Laureates".


Mother of Invention, pen and paper always at the ready!

Fibre For The Soul!

We need to feed our souls healthy food just as we do our bodies. The trick is finding a well balanced diet that satisfies our own soul's individual "nutritional" needs. No two are exactly the same. Some thrive on deep connections, while others sustain themselves by being mostly alone. Many people need to feel fulfilled in successful careers in which they are appreciated. Perhaps mothers and fathers need to feed their souls the happiness and confidence in playing these roles. We need to feel that our souls are completed by nutritionally supplementing them with something larger than ourselves.
And I am thoroughly convinced that every one of us needs to feel loved and needed - soul food for sure.

A friend of mine invited me to join a group of people belonging to the Buddhist faith in an evening of readings and meditation tonight. She said, "The quiet focusing on your own thoughts loosens the crap that has bunged up your mind so it can be eliminated." We both laughed at the obvious parallel to the "Metamucil Metaphor of Meditation"! Well, it does make a lot of sense to me - we could all use a little more fibre for the soul.


Mother of Invention, always searching for a little more soul food!

Clear Vision

We all have a little trouble now and again seeing things as they really are instead of how we'd like them to be. It is then that we count on friends and family to pull us in and see ourselves through different eyes.

walking through life
step by step
one at a time
pacing yourself for the most part
collecting elements of "you"
through experience along the way
building a self-image
sometimes seeing only what you want to
and not what others view more clearly....
would you see it if you risked
a full two minute auto-focus in the mirror
to check on reality
with your film fully exposed?
Or is it too hard for you to catapult
from the vortex
of your mind
whirling and swirling
with a million ideas
like a vacuum
sucking in the baggage
in eddying circles?

Mother of Invention

Copyright 2005