Me, spilling out all my thoughts, inner and outer, on just about anything! Lots of poetry, short stories from past experiences, anecdotes about teaching elementary school, music, relationships....garage sale type thing...Something For Everyone!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Poetry Friday Retro-Repro

Mona deems the theme to be Human Reproduction because Boy-Child is about to embrace this as part of the school curriculum. Poor teachers! They must be ready for either all that snickering or an extremely uncharacteristically quiet classroom!
I've only addressed one small aspect of this huge topic because once I started writing, the memories came "flooding" (hehehe!) back in so much detail, I had to do them justice and devote to them the words they deserved!

Uncovered On The Covered Wagon Trip!

I knew I'd get my period some day. Not that my mom actually talked directly to me about what it was. She had just issued a really lame book about it to my oldest sister,who then passed it on to my next oldest sister, who talked to me and showed me what to do when it happened. And, man did it happen!

I was at Bible Camp the summer of Gr. 7 (12 years old) and I couldn't wait to go on the overnight trip. I had heard all about the covered wagon trip the senior girls got to go on and I was excited. This feeling quickly dissipated when I watched two old roan-coloured nags plod slowly up the road into camp....and the driver was worse.

This ancient-looking geezer was by far the crookedest and skinniest man I'd ever laid eyes on as he somehow got himself down out of the driver's seat. I thought he was going to keel over any minute!
Ed, as he was called, had one long yellow tooth and his brief conversations were punctuated with a staccato of spitting tobacco juice on the path. All the kids jumped out of the way.

We loaded our duffel bags and took hours to ramble and rock over the rough roads to a ramshackle farm where we were to sleep in the hayloft. We actually had a great foil-wrapped meal of chicken, potatoes, onions and carrots cooked over an open fire. After the singsong and the customary s'mores, we all had to pee on the hillside and we were given one tissue each for the process. My cabin mate shone a flashlight for me and I gasped when I saw it! A watery red stain! Crap! Of all the places to get initiated into womanhood! I thought I'd have to use leaves or moss like the Native women.

My counsellor rationed me a few more tissues and somehow I made it back to the camp the next day none too worse for my first experience with The Curse. I immediately went to announce my whole ordeal to my sister whose tent was in the older girls' section. I think I recall her giving me some proper supplies, or maybe it was her counsellor, but I know I was grateful.

That seems like such a distant memory now as I look from the other side of my life, no longer getting The Curse at all. I don't miss it one bit.....but I do think of that episode every time I see a wagon hitched with some old horses and some spit hurling out of someone in the driver's seat!

Mother of Invention, reflecting and smiling at one of my life's pivotal moments!

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Blogger meno said...

I love first period stories. I'll be telling a bit of mine when i post later. Glad you had older sisters to help you out.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Blogger Barbara said...

Great timing! It seemed so unnecessary for most of my life. I'm glad to be done with it.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Blogger Maggie said...

I wish I'd had older sisters. Rashioned you a few more tissues? Sheesh. Glad you came out ok though.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Blogger twilite said...

Hi MOI! Help! Enjoyed your reminisce... Mine, it's the joke in our family as I thought I was bleeding to death!!!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Blogger mjd said...

Hello, I am blog-hopping. I think that must have read the same book. Luckily, my period did not start on a wagon trip, but I did experience a dilemma none-the-less. At 60, life is much easier without the Curse.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Meno: They taught me a lot as I mentioned on yours!

Barbara: I have never needed it! It gave me a rough time as everything else physical does. I had my tubes done at 29!

Maggie: I lovd having older sisters and I stil do! We have a sister-fest at the cottage every summer for a few days..just us!

Twilite: AW! They gave you the info too late eh?!!

MJD: I'm with ya on that! I'm 53 and haven't had a period for 2 years!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Blogger Annelisa said...

I never got handed a book. Well, possibly about 5 years too late, but not when I needed it. Luckily, my friend was more up on the subject than I was, and we worked it all out beforehand...which is more than I can say for a poor lass at school, who (like Twilite) thought she was bleeding internally, and used a plaster to stop the flow... she was nicknamed 'elastaplast' (a common brand of plaster over here) at school for the rest of her school years, poor girl.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Anonymous chase said...

Too bad I cant seem to relate since I am a guy but I heard alot of first period stories from my girlfriends!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Rapunzel said...

oh, dear! I couldn't wait to get mine, read Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret a dozen times! ;)

Honestly, as annoying as it can be, I don't hate my period even now. It's just a part of womanhood. I only wish we woman had a Red Tent where we could rest, refresh and honor our moontime, would be much less of a curse that way.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Pauline said...

lol MOI. My mother called it 'my friend' rather than the curse but I never felt very friendly toward the whole uncomfortable process. I agree with rapunzel - this society needs red tents.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Diana said...

That had the potential for true disaster. I'm glad it wasn't worse than it was. Bet your counselor packed a pad or 2 from then on.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Annelisa: OMG, how horrible for her! Yuck, plaster? I can't even imagine what it would have been like when it hardened!

Chase: Believe every word of theirs!

Rapunzel: Yes, I'm afraid I'd do a little moaning and whining in that tent...I'd be sent to another tent!

Pauline: I remember that name for it too..much nicer reference albeit it a little misleading and dreamy! My friends and I had a codeword which was "cantelope" so boys wouldn't know what we were talking about!

Diana: I hope so! Same as I used to have some in my desk drawer for Gr. 6/7 girls in my class.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Anonymous colleen said...

I wasn't sure what roan-colored nags plodding actually meant, but it was poetry to my ears! And I can guess.

I loved this wonderfully told story. I have no such memory. I guess I was home...and surprises.

Crones aren't cursed. Although, we never called it the curse. We called it "our friend."

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Thanks so much for your visit...I loved this post and it brought back memories of the beninning pf "the curse" in my life....I too am on the VERY far side of Not Having that anymore, and like you, I don't miss it for one millisecond! LOL!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Colleen: Thanks Colleen. Many of my childhood memories are very clear and detailed. I just remember them as very old horses and were rusty-chestnut colour. They could barely walk let alone pull that heavy wagon and it seemed like we were in slow motion!

Good to know we aren't cursed! In fact, less cursed as we age!

Old Old Lady of the Hills: You're so welcome.I love not ever having to think about it! Even the odd hot flash makes it worth it!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Gattina said...

(Big smile*!) My mother had told me everthing which was VERY unusual in the 50th ! but I thought that was for others and not for me, I also was only 12 years old ! And then it happened, just when I proudly tried new roller skates, lol ! I remember that I "rolled" home as quick as I could and my mother showed me what to do. Afterwards I remember I felt proud to be so "advanced", lol !
I have the same experiences as you with male friendships. Each time I thought now it's a real friendship I was disappointed, they always wanted more sooner or later, I don't know why, I certainly did not encourage them. Even now that I am an elderly lady (he, he) it's still impossible. I thought now I would be in peace and leave that to younger girls, but no, I attract them like a fly is attracted by a poop ! I gave up, I don't even try anymore, I have my girlfriends and am very happy with that.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger steve said...

I.... wanted to have a celebration when the Waterbaby started because I think... well...lets just say no one else thought it was as cool a life moment as I did...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Jocelyn said...

I'm with Meno. I love first period stories as much as I love labor and delivery stories.

If it comes out of a woman's cooch, I'm all over it.

And that's officially the grossest thing I've ever typed.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Gattina: Your mother wss right on it and that was a good thing for you.

A good resolve for the issues of male friendships gone wrong. Girlfriends are wonderful and I'm so glad I have them, plus my sisters.

Steve: Was she embarrassed? I know lots of people now who gave their girls a red rose or something when they "joined the club" and saw it as a tender marker to celebrate.

Jocelyn: They certainly are unique to those of the female gender, ain't no doubt about that!
Hey, I'm honoured to host your grossest words....I think!? Does that make me a Gross Host?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Blogger Old Lady said...

Mine started on a pool day when I was 12. I cried for hours because I couldn't go to the pool!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Old Lady: Yeah, that would have been our main concern in those days! I think they should delay periods for as long as possible!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

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