Me, spilling out all my thoughts, inner and outer, on just about anything! Lots of poetry, short stories from past experiences, anecdotes about teaching elementary school, music, relationships....garage sale type thing...Something For Everyone!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

What I Am And What I'm Not

I wrote this a few years ago when I was trying to pick myself up after a few unfortunate experiences with people who tried to tear me down in spite of my kind treatment of them. At first, they made me feel just so inadequate compared to others, and then I thought, "No! That's utter crap and I'm not letting them make me feel bad about who I am!" Since then they have all proved themselves to be unworthy of my friendship and I have lost much respect for them. What goes around usually comes around.
I may not have ten books published,
I may not read all the latest best-sellers,
(I may not have even read today's paper)
I may not belong to the Mensa group,
I may not win the duathlons or ski races,
(In fact, I may even have trouble walking around the block now)
My body's shell God created may not be the healthiest,
nor the most gorgeous-looking,
I may not have children who win "All Round Kid" awards
or who are in the enrichment class
or who will become doctors and lawyers,
I may not have the title,
"Top Volunteer of The Town"
bestowed upon me,
I may not be the key person sitting in a church congregation,
(Indeed, I may not even occupy a seat very often at all)
I may not have the fattest billfold from a bursting bank account
and my house may not be the newest, fanciest or cleanest,
my fingers may not be able to fly over
the ivories on a Heinzman
or effortlessly pluck the strings of a Martin,
and I may not always sing in perfect pitch
or write the most melodious songs.......
But
I have a voice,
albeit quiet and small,
seemingly insignificant,
sometimes unheard,
and
this voice sings
its own perfect sweet harmony
with the world and all who share it.
And
I have a brain,
a mind that thinks and ponders,
wondering
about many important things to me,
a mind that puts ideas and feelings
to pen and paper,
poems and songs,
living deep inside me.
And
I have a heart
that is honest,
open and inclusive,
and caring of others,
a heart that is kind,
generous and giving,
true to myself
and all my beliefs,
truest to my family and friends
with whom I share all I have,
a heart that pumps in overdrive,
compassionately synchronizing
its strong rhythm
with all else -
the internal rhyme and reason
many search for and never find...
this voice, mind and heart
are so alive with spirit
that they have taken on a life of their own....
and so even if all this life spirit
is not recognized and celebrated
by a single soul...
I do believe
that
in a place far beyond
my earthly existence,
it will not go unnoticed
and this spirit shall live on.....
Mother of Invention, feeling way better about myself these days!

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28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh MOI, I thought I'd like to take a look back at some of your earlier posts (I don't know if you get informed by email about comments, so you may never get this...) but this one is lovely! I went all shivery and totally stopped still... It's soo beautiful.

It would be really good if you could seperate your poems (I'm in the process of doing this myself) and putting them all in one place so they could be read individually, in their own right. At least to put some permenent links in the sidebar!!! If I hadn't just been looking to see how you started blogging, I might never have come across this poem ...

(and blimey, I didn't realise you'd been blogging so long! How could you possibly still be a technophobe!!! No way, Jose!!)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

 
Blogger twilite said...

Hi mother of invention! I enjoy this thoroughly. Wish I could spill out words like the way you did!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

 
Blogger GEWELS said...

Beautiful- the world is lacking in compassionate, loving, non-judgmental hearts as yours. I would rather have one person in my life like you than thousands with money or talent or high I.Q.'s
You should feel good about yourself- you are a treasure.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

 
Blogger gr said...

MOI, you do have a heart, a sweet one.

BTW--there are a lot of hockey players around here, perhaps the Barrie Ford person is visitng for that reason. I was driving up a huge hill the other day and an ancient car with (my first time seeing these) Alberta plates was slowly chugging up also and I said 'I bet that is...' and sure enough, there was a large and unshaven young man, with that hockey look.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

 
Blogger Diana said...

Marvelous. Funny how those who love to tear down others are the miserable ones.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

 
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Anon (Annelisa): I posted this awhile ago when no one read it so I'm re-posting. Thanks for digging it up! And for your nice comments! Believe me, I'm a tech moron!

Twilight: Thank you. They tumble out of me if I really want to express myself and it feels god to do that with this kind of close-to-the-soul stuff.

Gewels: Wow! Thanks for the high compliment and encouragement. It is something I have struggled with...this insecurity at times when I think I can't come close to doing things others can = I don't count as much or am not as valuable. Some people like to try to highlight that. Most of the time I do feel good about myself. Deep down I know these people are no better than me and may even have less going for them. I actually pity a few of them.

Gr: Thanks, Potter-man! We breed those hockey players like rabbits! Probably all kinds of tournaments now.

Diana: Thanks. Yeah, most of the peole I know that love to do this turned out to be mean-spirited and I just pity them. I can never figure out why I was ever friendly towards them or friends with them. They are total misfits! I sometimes give people the benefit of any doubt and keep giving them chances.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

 
Blogger brooksba said...

Wow. I loved this poem. I kept thinking about all those things people say, those cuts we get from "friends" and those deflating comments we hear. And it reminded me of the choice we have. We can believe what people say or we can mope about it, or we can do something about it. We can choose to think positively and we can choose our attitude. I love your attitude. You have a wonderful heart, a pure voice, and a beautiful way of expressing your thoughts. You are a great person.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger Rapunzel said...

Beautiful! Having gone through something similar myself lately, your words really resonated with me. You have a voice, indeed, one that along with your heart touches many..that is certainly evident here!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger red-dirt-girl said...

MoI girlfriend,

I definitely could not have written a better description of you than this:

"I have a voice,
albeit quiet and small,
seemingly insignificant,
sometimes unheard,
and
this voice sings
its own perfect sweet harmony
with the world and all who share it.
And
I have a brain,
a mind that thinks and ponders,
wondering
about many important things to me,
a mind that puts ideas and feelings
to pen and paper,
poems and songs,
living deep inside me.
And
I have a heart
that is honest,
open and inclusive,
and caring of others,
a heart that is kind,
generous and giving,
true to myself
and all my beliefs,
truest to my family and friends
with whom I share all I have..."

yours is the sweetest soul I know here in blogoworld....and in my world for that matter!! And I love your positive outlook - that inner strength you thrive on - even though you struggle daily with a mighty heavy (and painful) load....

Inspirational? yes, you are that as well. Those so called friends did not deserve your friendship...

This post reminds me of something I heard Maya Angelou say once regarding 'those types' of people:

she was scolding a student at a gathering in her home and telling him that the world was already full of little fish....fish who take small bites out of you every time you see them....eating away at your self esteem, self knowledge....leaving doubt and insecurity in their wake.....Don't be a piranha she said to this student...

Yes, I say in agreement - get rid of the piranhas in our lives....

xxx
rdkitty

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger RennyBA said...

Ohh, your spilling out your words so powerful and great. I really like your attitude and you have all the reasons to feel good about who you are. This post is the proof of the pudding:-)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Beautiful! What a powerful post!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger Bob said...

You indeed have a heart, and that puts you miles above those who have fat wallets and write best sellers and have kids in advanced class.

What a wonderful poem and what a wonderful attitude!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger meno said...

And if these people have all that, they why do they feel the need to talk about it so loudly?

Lovely post and poem!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger TorAa said...

You have qualities beyond most of us. Let that be said for you to know.

I think we all meet people, during our lifes, with false agendas. Sooner or later they fell down, deep down, 'cause they had so high thoughts of themselfs. They need a short comment: You are not the only person that can think.


btw. Sorry for have been unpresent lately. My back is a h*ll for the time beeing. Sitting is very painful, walking ha-ha what a joke - need at rollator - bed is best. Hence this short comment.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Brooksba: Oh, thank you...I do struggle with negative feelings about myself at first when people for crazy reasons misinterpret my positive support. Then I question myself asking what did I do that was wrong? The answer is almost always, "Nothing! It's the other person who chose to have a negative take on things!"

Rapunzel: I'm glad this resonates with you at this time. How do people get so balled up in something that should be obvious? Good thing these people are in the minority and the common denominator is quirkiness and unhealthy emotional baggage they've never dealt with so they need a scapegoat.

RDG: Thanks Kitty. I do usually have a positive attitude until I get blown away by negative feedback coming at me from a 180 degree turn. I'm too sensitive to it until I finally, (after way too much time giving 2nd chances!) recognize it for what it is. Then, I realize I don't even want to be friends with people like that because I don't have respect for them, and that they don't even come close to being worthy of my friendship. I shake myself after being their "sacrificial lamb" so easily and am shocked that I let them use me that way. I hope that inner strength continues to win over the Timid Rabbit so willing to be so kind and understanding when the situation calls for complete cutting off ties. (Man, was I lucky in the guy I married and that I met him when I was really young!!)

Renny: Thanks, Renny! I continue to do the self-talk thing about what a worthy and respected person I am, and that I deserve the best, absolutely! We all need to re-iterate that to ourselves. I've learned some lessons...how to size up these people and read signs early on so I don't let them make me feel crummy! I'm so lucky to have so many other friends to see me for who I really am.

Mona: Thanks so much. Yes, I do think I gained a lot of personal power and validation through writing this.

Bob: Thanks, Bob. I hope to keep this attitude positive and strong. In the big scheme, these people don't hold a candle to the really important friends and family in my life, and in the long run, they simply don't matter.

Meno: You're right. It's a false way of measuring their souls and who they really are. They often are hiding who they really are by being dishonest. Thanks for your supportive comment.

Toraa: Thanks. Yes, that is not the true measure of a person...that stuff is so superficial.

Hey, you need a good chiropractor! Do they have them there? Hope your back gets better! Ice or moist heat is what my husband always says! (Not dry heat, which can make it worse.)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger GrizzBabe said...

This is an absolutely lovely poem. It feels good when you go through a difficult time but come out of it better and stronger than you were before. Very encouraging.

Thanks for stopping by the blog. Don't be a stranger!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

 
Blogger Pauline said...

What you are: sensitive, kind, intelligent, beautiful, alive.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

 
Blogger Old Lady said...

I got'ch your back. Lemme at em, lemme at em. Roar, roar.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

 
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Grizz: Thanks. Yes, I am a lot stronger and am able to avoid this type of person....tough lessons sometimes are that way!

Pauline: Thank you. I'm a little too sensitive to everything around me, and sometimes that doesn't always work in my favour, but most of all, that's a blessing. I feel the joy and connection more than a lot of people I think.

Old Lady: Hey, can I hire you? I may have to reign you in a little! It's a small town!! Thanks!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

 
Blogger Annelisa said...

I'm so glad you've re-posted this poem, MOI! I had shivers when I read it the first time, and when I was reading it just now (apart from having a sense of deja vu! :-D ) I had the same feeling.

From what I've known of you, in the last five and 1/2 months, I know you to be kind, thoughtful, hopeful, patient, encouraging, creative, sparkling, but most of all - loyal. It makes me realise how much these people must've hurt you, for you to have come to the decision they are not worth it. And more, if you've come to this decision, I don't believe it was lightly, so you are most likely completely and utterly right about your assessment of them - definately better off without them!!

(btw - the first comment gave me a second shot at deja vu, if it hadn't gotten me through the poem!! Took me by surprise :-D and I still think you should seperate your wonderful poetry, so it can be found easily...)

Thursday, April 05, 2007

 
Blogger Richard said...

Well said.

Among other things I do not understand is the need people seem to have to try and coerce other sinto being like them: read the right books, listen to the right music, dress the right way, etc...

I believe in sharing, not in evangelizing.

Friday, April 06, 2007

 
Anonymous Coll said...

This is just lovely and very inspirational.

Friday, April 06, 2007

 
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

AL: Thanks for the singing of praises! I am rather green and trusting...not much Karma built up yet! I always am shocked when I confront people like this. I can't believe that they're not like every other nice person I know so I tend not to see it coming. Mind you, it's only happened with about 4 people in my entire life so that's actually not a bad record considering all the weird people out there. I'm probably over-sensitive since I've never learned to deal with it.

(I am still a long way from being a techy! re: putting all poetry in one place! Do you mean a separate blog in addition to posting them here first?)

Richard:

Coll:

Friday, April 06, 2007

 
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Ooops!

Richard: Yes, I'd rather have it your way. I don't see that we get our worth from such things and I hate when I feel I'm compared to others on such criteria, and found lacking.

Coll: Thanks, I'm glad it inspired some thoughts.

Friday, April 06, 2007

 
Blogger TopChamp said...

My world's VERY bitchy - music just is that way because of the competition element.

The bitching (as opposed to the criticism) used to bother me - so I took a couple of years off doing it full time. I missed it.

Now I think (HOPE!) I've cracked it by finding a balance and deciding what aspects of the industry I'm actually interested in, and which aspects I can gladly lose. It also helps to have a nice normal bloke at home I think.

I don't think people belittle others to hurt them so much as to make themselves feel better. All about their insecurities.

I like you (and your poems!) - wish I had your talent x

Saturday, April 07, 2007

 
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Topchamp: You sure got that right about having a loving supportive partner at home!!

Yep, many find it self-rewarding to tear down others in order to elevate themselves, and 1/2 the time they don't feel so great about themselves either.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

 
Blogger the naked tapdancer said...

Great poem! I really enjoy your writing - so hopeful, non-cynical, and kind to yourself and others. That's why I keep reading. Thanks.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

 
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

NKD: Thanks for reading and making such a genuine positive comment. It means a lot to me when people value my written thoughts.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

 

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